A brown household has its own strict rules and regulations that further establishes a particular ‘anomalous brown constitution’ that all the members have to follow, no matter what the others are following. Brown parents may feel that these rules will ensure discipline but deep down they teach their children to lie. Teens these days, have aspirations and are well opinionated on general issues. But a say in decision-making for a brown teen is like a dream come true. It’s hard for the parents to accept, that a fact stated by their next generation has more significance than the knowledge they already have. And so they pay less attention and ought to undermine such stuff, often quoted as, “you don’t have much experience as we do”.
The problem arises when a brown kid has white friends. In the whole process, the peer pressure takes over and the brown kid slowly admires how his friends live their life. This becomes his inspiration and boosts his confidence to lie and get things done. But this is quite reasonable as well. Who is not attracted to clubbing late at night with friends? Who is not attracted to go to places alone and have fun? Who doesn’t want to play video games late at night?
According to research conducted by the University of Georgia, strictness towards the children does more harm than good. The outcomes of strict parenting depend on the child as well. If a child is sensitive then strict parenting might not help in the long run and would cause more anxiety but for a child who remains normal during tense situations, it might do good. Adolescence is an age where children learn to become independent and start questioning things because they feel they have the right to make their own decisions but guidance is still necessary to make sure that they take the right decisions.
The researchers found out that the amount of strictness to be implemented has a direct link to the biological make-up of a child and one has to form a bridge of understanding to know the child’s reaction to specific stress. As part of the research, parents and their children were asked various questions on which they have had disagreements earlier. The variation in the heartbeat during a breathing cycle was measured as the respiratory sinus arrhythmia of both the parents as well as the children. It was found out that the increase in the production of sweat, as well as respiratory sinus arrhythmia, was an indication of the stressful moments in the conversation. The theory was thus proved psycho-biologically.
Being a brown girl myself, I am not allowed to wake up till late at night which is a good thing with regard to a routine, but at the same time I am influenced by other people who stay up till late at night, and that they have no such rules. So this prompts me to question my parents’ authority which again, is a bad idea.
In a brown household, you are supposed to agree with everything they say. The moment you question them, be ready to be cross-questioned which, according to me, is not a very healthy situation.
Comparison is a very important factor in the family with regard to education. If you don’t score more than your cousin or friend or neighbour or even the topper (in extreme cases), you are supposed to hear taunts your entire life. For a brown kid, education is everything. Wait, not education. Marks are everything that a brown student is supposed to slave his or her hours for.
Yes! I know this is scary but hats off to the brown kids out there!
Being a girl, I also fantasize myself wearing crop tops and other trendy clothes and be stylish, because why not? But no, I am a brown kid and I am not supposed to defame my family’s reputation. So you have to give in because trust me, voicing your opinions makes no sense.
Another factor is privacy. We cannot demand privacy from anyone. We just need to make use of situations when we are alone, to get it. ALSO, never ever laugh while using your phone because if you do, you’ll magically have a relationship with someone and then you will be under observation. Never share jokes and memes with your parents (telling from my own experience) because firstly, they won’t get it, and secondly, they will relate them to your life in pessimism, and then next minute you’ll be getting a lecture on something you did two years ago (Duh!)
Also Read: 10 Things Only Brown Parents Can Say And Do
Many times you would have found yourself in situations where you knew you were right and your parents were wrong. Did you tell them? If not, then congratulations you are an experienced brown kid.
Another factor is fear. They feel that fear is good for kids and that children should be scared of them only then they will be obedient. But it’s pretty much the opposite. There is often a communication gap between them and because of this fear, the child never shares his/her experiences with them. You can’t watch shows with kissing scenes, in front of them because they think we don’t know how we were born. You can’t talk to someone of the opposite gender. If you do, then be ready to be welcomed into the sea of deadly questions, exclusively unhealthy. ALSO, a brown kid can never imagine coming home late at night. Stuff like this is completely illegal and beyond our boundaries. If you are a teen girl then you should know how to cook otherwise no one is going to marry you.
So, what can we do as a new generation?
The motive is that you need to realize that these things happen because of the generation gap. Sometimes you might think that you can’t change their mindset and that’s pretty true as well because they want to raise you in the same way they were raised. And it’s okay if they want to do their part of upbringing the way they want to. But at the same time, parents should also understand that times are changing and they should be ready for a change. Understanding both sides might decrease the gap and cover everything up.
These Millenials are very advanced in terms of knowledge and skills but cannot cope up with their emotional issues because they are being influenced by their ‘cool’ peers who are free to live their life without any restrictions. On one hand, children need to realize that the strictness they are being exposed to, is for their own good. On the other hand, they should try talking to their parents to make them realize that the world is changing and maybe, they should have a lighter hold of things.
Every student faces this at one point or the other and it’s a part of growing up! So it’s completely fine to have such issues. All a family needs to do is to communicate politely and frankly.
Disclaimer: All the views you’ve read are the personal views of the writer and have nothing to do with the views of TSA-The Second Angle as a media house